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'Turkish Star Wars,' Ludachristmas at the Hex: A-List 12.20-26

'Turkish Star Wars'

'Turkish Star Wars'

This week's top events include last-minute shopping, cheap holiday movie screenings, and beer. Come take a look.

WEDNESDAY 12.20

Turkish Star Wars
Trylon Cinema

Even the most contemptuous critics of the Star Wars franchise tend to acknowledge the level of technical skill brought into the creation of the Lucasfilm universe. The same cannot be said of the many off-brand imitators that attempted to attract audiences with highly derivative space operas. One notorious example, receiving a rare screening at the Trylon Cinema, has come to be known as the Turkish Star Wars (1982) due to the filmmakers’ shamelessly inept splicing of footage from the 1977 classic into their own tale. The completely unauthorized use of these scenes has earned the film a reputation as a Star Wars rip-off, but the movie has a bizarre vision all its own. Originally titled Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saved the World), the film features an erratic plotline involving the efforts of two space pilots to thwart the intergalactic schemes of a 1,000-year-old wizard and his army of monsters, zombies, and ninjas. Such a brief synopsis does little justice to the unhinged narrative twists, which are made all the more surreal by being set to an array of familiar (and completely unlicensed) music from a wide range of sources (including John Williams’ iconic score for Raiders of the Lost Ark). A cinematic oddity that needs to be seen to be believed, Turkish Star Wars presents an unforgettably demented take on a galaxy far, far away. 7 p.m. $5. 3258 Minnehaha Ave., Minneapolis; 612-424-5468. —Brad Richason

Darkest Day of the Year Celebration: Tap Take Over
Uptown Tavern & Rooftop

For 2017’s Darkest Day of the Year celebration, all 30 lines at Uptown Tavern will go black as night, offering the type of rare and high-alcohol beers that aficionados wait in line and form cult followings for. The staggered releases will start at 3 p.m., and the menu includes hard-to-find local brews like Insight Gravity Well Double Barrel 2016, aged beers like Surly Four, and notable nationals like Dogfish Head Vanilla World Wide Stout and Goose Island Bourbon County Stout. Beers from Bent Paddle, Ballast Point, Founders, Lift Bridge, and many others will also be available. For those who need a little more warmth, out on the heated patio they’ll pour specialty Pappy Van Winkle and Buffalo Trace bourbons. 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. Free. 1400 Lagoon Ave., Minneapolis; 612-824-3333. —Loren Green

Christmas at the Riverview 2017
Riverview Theater

Those seeking Christmas-themed screenings need look no further than the Riverview Theater’s annual holiday classics series. Set to the iconic songs of Irving Berlin, the widely cherished musical White Christmas (1954) follows two entertainers and ex-soldiers (Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye) who, after being smitten with two singing sisters (Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen), propose pooling their talents for a Christmas Eve spectacular to save a struggling Vermont inn owned by the men’s former commanding officer. Drawing upon warm reminiscences of childhood, A Christmas Story (1983) mines heartfelt humor from the tale of a nine-year-old boy who (when not being chased by neighborhood bullies) dreams of finding the ultimate gift of a Red Ryder air rifle under the Christmas tree. Rounding out the trio of films,It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) offers one of James Stewart’s greatest turns as George Bailey, a family man on the brink of despair who is given the chance to reappraise his life by experiencing the world as it would have been had he never existed. Admission is $2 per film or $1 with a non-perishable food item (a portion of all ticket sales will be donated to the Minnehaha Food Shelf). Daily screenings are at 4 p.m. (White Christmas), 6:30 p.m. (A Christmas Story), and 8:30 p.m. (It’s a Wonderful Life). 3800 42nd Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-729-7369. Through Saturday —Brad Richason

Jenny Zigrino
Acme Comedy Co.

City Pages caught up with comedian Jenny Zigrino back in November, right before she flew to the U.K. Here in America, things are also taking off. Her Comedy Central special debuted recently, though she hasn’t worked up the nerve to watch it. Well, sort of. “The day it premiered I was out of town doing a club,” she says, “and we just went to this bar in the middle of nowhere and asked if they would turn the sound on for me on the TV. They put it on Comedy Central, but wouldn’t put the sound on. So, I just watched myself in silence and ate a pizza,” she says. It was probably just as well, as she has a hard time watching herself on TV. “I can’t actually look at myself and be constructive in any way because I’m caught up in everything visual.” If she’s working on material, she’ll only use audio recordings. “My brain only wants to focus on, ‘My hair is doing a weird thing and my shirt doesn’t look right.’” 18+. 8 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday; 10:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday. $15-$18. 708 N. First St., Minneapolis; 612-338-6393. Through Saturday —P.F. Wilson

Sarah Ascanio

Sarah Ascanio

THURSDAY 12.21

Grown-Up Club’s Forced Retirement Party
Bauhaus Brew Labs

For the past five years, the Grown-Up Club has been encouraging grown-ass folks to tap into their youthful side by hosting craft, game, and poetry nights. Poop emoji ornaments were made, Capture the Flag was played, science and diorama fairs were held, and many, many beers were consumed. This Thursday, the Club will be hosting one final party, packed with children’s activities for adults. There will be coloring sessions, a few cheeky craft-making opportunities, pickle-themed prizes, pints of beer, and more. The club, founded by a group of friends, will say goodbye and toast to a new—but hopefully still childlike—era. 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Free. 1315 Tyler St. NE, Minneapolis; 612-276-6911. —Jessica Armbruster

Make and Mingle: Evergreen
Silverwood Park

No matter what holidays you celebrate, this time of year inspires craftiness. With cold winter nights and dark days, it’s the perfect time of year to dig into some handmade projects, especially if you’ve got some warm drinks to keep you sustained and friends to keep you company. Over at Silverwood Park, you can get into a festive spirit at their winter solstice celebration. Silverwood’s Mix and Mingle series is a quarterly happening, with artists, naturalists, and musicians teaming up for a grownups-only event that will get you creating and socializing. Roll up your sleeves and make some giftable art using resin and evergreens as singer-songwriter Zach Zurn performs. Take a winter watercolor lesson while you sip some free Northern Lights Tea, and enjoy snacks from the big Red Wagon food truck. You’re welcome to bring your own beer or wine to sip and share. 21+. 6 to 9 p.m. $14. 2500 Cty. Rd. E, St. Anthony; 763-694-7707. —Sheila Regan

Tiffany Norton, Tommy Thompson, David Harris
Joke Joint Comedy Club

Tiffany Norton is a proud native of St. Paul. “In St. Paul, we have bit of a chip on our shoulder,” she concedes. “We’re the older city, but Minneapolis gets all the fun stuff.” Norton started writing jokes in college, and kept a notebook full of them for years. “I didn’t know how all that worked,” she says of standup comedy. “I thought you had to be special, or someone would tell you it’s something you should do. In a way my teachers told me that, because they said I talked too much. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-30s that I started.” By then, she had a solid broadcasting career and is probably most recognized in the Twin Cities as the executive producer of the Moon and Staci Show on KS95. Standup gives her a slightly different platform than the radio show, though occasionally the two paths will cross. “Sometimes we’ll talk about something on the show that I can talk more about onstage. Or we’ll be talking about something on the show that I might have a bit about, so it can work both ways.” Norton will perform Thursday night at the Joke Joint. Others standups scheduled this week include Tommy Thompson (Friday) and David Harris (Saturday). 7 p.m. Thursday through Saturday. $14-$19. 801 Sibley Memorial Hwy., Lilydale; 651-330-9078.Through Saturday —P.F. Wilson

Winter Solstice Celebration
American Swedish Institute

This week, the American Swedish Institute celebrates the winter solstice with bonfires in the courtyard, a musical theater performance by Impossible Salt, self-guided tours of the Turnblad Mansion, and plenty of glögg and other festive treats from FIKA Cafe. Impossible Salt’s last interactive show at ASI, The Stranger, won over audiences’ hearts in 2015. Their new piece, Wise One, is inspired by a Norwegian folktale, The Seventh Father of the House. Singing performers will tell the story of a traveling wanderer who seeks rest in an elusive castle. It’s a festive work that blends drama, dance, and games with folk songs and new music, composed in collaboration with the Minneapolis Music Company. Minneapolis-based photographer/illustrator Per Breiehagen will also be on hand to chat about and sign books from The Christmas Wish, the best-selling children’s series he co-created with his wife, Lori Evert. 5 to 9 p.m. Free with museum admission ($5-$10). 2600 Park Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-871-4907. —Sheila Regan

 

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FRIDAY 12.22

Ludachristmas Dance Party
Hexagon Bar

Christmas can be a real bitch. Whether it’s draining your bank account, holding your tongue while your uncle shares his opinions on gun control, or coping with the hordes of assholes at your retail job during the holidays, this week can be brutal. Fortunately, Ludachristmas is coming. This Friday, Ludachristmas (or Chris “Ludachristmas” Bridges, as he’s known in the acting community) brings all of the yuletide hits of ATL’s favorite son to MSP. No matter what’s your fantasy or what area codes you live in, everyone is encourage to stand up, get back, and roll out to the Hexagon Bar for a pre-Christmas bash full of vitamin D. It’ll be a fast and furious night of Southern hospitality before braving the onslaught of family and Christmas music this weekend, so make sure your time and your clothes coordinate, and come shake your money maker and act a fool this Friday. 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Free. 2600 27th Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-722-3454. —Patrick Strait

Last-Minute Shopping
Herbivorous Butcher/FOOD Building

Well, crap. You waited until the last moment to finish up Christmas shopping, didn’t you? Fortunately, you won’t have to gift anyone windshield wipers from the gas station or sift through the slim pickings at Target, as there are two pop-up events tonight. First, you can give the gift of delicious vegan sweets at Herbivorous Butcher’s holiday pop-up shop (507 First Ave. NE, Minneapolis; 612-208-0992). Friday from noon to 4 p.m. you can scoop up treats while they last. There will be cupcakes; choose from flavors like hot chocolate, chocolate candy cane, gingerbread with eggnog frosting, and cranberry with apple cider frosting. Or go for tiny joys with boxes of candies such as white chocolate peanut butter, maple buttercream, and chocolate-covered cherries. Meanwhile, Last Call in the FOOD Building (1401 Marshall St. NE, Minneapolis; 612-545-5555) will help you panic-shop in a party environment. Check out items from local makers, including jewelry, print art, meat, and makeup. If you buy something at the event, you’ll also score free wrapping. To add to the festivities, live music and tarot-card readings are also planned, and you’ll be able to drink while you shop (always a bonus). This market runs from 2 to 8 p.m. Friday and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday. —Jessica Armbruster

Getty Images

Getty Images

SATURDAY 12.23

Christmas Eve Eve Party
Psycho Suzi’s Motor Lounge

You’ve got approximately 24 hours before the holiday family obligations kick in, so make the most of it. This Saturday night, Psycho Suzi’s will be hosting a holiday party filled with booze, tunes, and pu pu platters. Order up one of their charming—and super alcoholic—cocktails and hit the dance floor, where DJ Theology will spin a mix of house, trance, and tropical tunes (you are in a tiki bar, after all). Ugly sweaters and other festive gear is encouraged, but if all you have is a bit of holiday cheer, then that works, too. 21+. 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Free. 1900 Marshall St. NE, Minneapolis; 612-788-9069. —Jessica Armbruster

SUNDAY 12.24

Jewbilee 2017
First Avenue/7th St. Entry

Whether you’re looking for something with slightly less Santa propaganda this Christmas Eve or just need a post-Hanukkah rager, the annual Jewbilee is back once again this Sunday. Now in its 15th year, the annual mashup of music and comedy, presented by TC Jewfolk, features performances by Challo, Planet Plookey, the Sons, and Andy Cook, with comedy from Dan Mogol, Sidney Oxborough, Aaron Isaacs, Zachary Kagan, and Sim Glaser, aka “The Inappropriate Rabbi.” It’s your reward for sucking it up and surviving a plethora of crappy holiday celebrations, ugly sweater parties, and forced family get-togethers. Plus, it’s cheap to get into and almost no one has to work on Monday, so you can save that sick day for the 26th instead. 18+. 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. $5. 701 First Ave. N., Minneapolis; 612-338-8388. —Patrick Strait