SEX & DRUGS & ROCK & ROLL >>

• BEST HAPPY HOUR
  Chino Latino
  Traditionally, "happy hour" comes after work: 4:00 p.m. till (if you're lucky) 7:00 p.m., just enough time to dish with co-workers without getting drunk enough to tell them how you really feel. But everyone knows the happiest hours come when the sun goes down—hence the glory that is the... More >>
• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR—ST. PAUL
  Half Time Rec
  You can tell the place has had some satisfied customers because there's photographic evidence right there on top of the bar: A sea of plastic-covered Polaroids displays happy, drink-reddened faces for posterity. (Some of the pictures feature the subject in front of the very bar of photos you're... More >>
• BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR—MINNEAPOLIS
  Cuzzy's
  For a decade, more City Pages paychecks have gone toward propping up this unglamorous bar on Washington Avenue North than any other joint in town. But, alas, we've never quite come up with the right way to show appreciation for the place some of us affectionately call Scuzzy's, and others of us... More >>
• BEST BEER SELECTION IN A BAR
  The Muddy Pig
  According to Chinese astrology, it's considered good fortune to bear children during the year of the pig—which it happens to be. We're not advising you to go mate-shopping at our own pig—that is, the Muddy Pig—but it's a known truth that prospective partners look better after a... More >>
• BEST BARTENDER
  John Senkler
  The nature-versus-nurture argument can't be resolved by the case of John Senkler, the young, brash drink-slinger at this St. Paul neighborhood eatery. Senkler's father, Charles, who is the co-owner of Fern's, made a career out of designing and managing bars when John was just a tyke, dragging... More >>
• BEST IRISH PUB
  O'Gara's
  Open since 1941, St. Paul's O'Gara's is your classic Irish pub: nice dark woodwork, two cozy rooms with booth seating, and two large bars stocked with gallons of hard liquor. The Shamrock Room features live music at least once a week (usually Tuesdays)—generally big band and jazz groups.... More >>
• BEST LESBIAN BAR
  Pi
  Don't insult the competition by pretending it doesn't exist: Lesbians won't abandon St. Paul's Town House or the moveable dance night Twilight anytime soon, while plenty of ostensibly gay male hotspots are also female favorites. But Pi is the first by-and-for-queer-women club since the demise of... More >>
• BEST GAY BAR
  The Saloon
  The Saloon is a kick-ass bar that never shies away from being, first and foremost, a kick-ass gay bar. While other joints in the area have been co-opted by the 394/494/694 crowd—visitors who seem to venture downtown only for the kink factor—the Saloon has continued to expand and grow... More >>
• BEST COCKTAILS
  Babalu
  Finding a bar with a decent wine list is fairly easy. The same cannot be said for places with a great cocktail menu. Babalu, located in the North Loop area of Minneapolis, does just that. The decor is somehow posh and cozy—red velvet drapes, brightly painted walls, and a bar with bottles... More >>
• BEST BLOODY MARY
  J.D. Hoyt's
  The super-size era nearly ruined the Bloody Mary, the most quixotic of all the classic drinks. Bars and restaurants were suddenly compelled to serve happy meals—rife with pickles, olives, celery stalks, baby shrimp, even beef jerky—in a glass. The booze, alas, became an afterthought.... More >>
• BEST MARTINI
  Moscow on the Hill
  Any place that keeps a freezer just for its specialty vodka isn't messing around. You can order up a classic gin or vodka martini, but Moscow on the Hill also specializes in martinis with a twist—though not twisted enough to technically be cocktails. Meaning, at $7.95 a pop, you are... More >>
• BEST MARGARITA
  Pancho Villa Restaurant
  At Eat Street's Pancho Villa, the margaritas may come from a mix, but they're served in an atmosphere of authentic ease and celebration. The icy, pale verde elixir flows in cheap abundance here, where it's served in green, cactus-stemmed glasses with dense flakes of salt clinging to the... More >>
• BEST PUB QUIZ
  Brit's Pub
  Last year's winner for Best Pub Quiz has gotten even better. The popularity of Brit's quiz, played on the first Tuesday of the month, would regularly cause the Long Room to fill past the Minneapolis fire marshal's comfort level. So to accommodate all challengers, a second night has been added,... More >>
• BEST PLACE TO PLAY PINBALL
  S.S. Billiards
  Ask anyone who knows local pinball about S.S. Billiards, and chances are they'll say, "Oh, you mean Lloyd's." They're talking about Lloyd Olson, the Hopkins arcade's owner and operator since 1979. (His mother owned it before him. She bought it from a man named Sam Snelling, hence the "S.S.")... More >>
• BEST KARAOKE
  James Ballentine VFW Post 246
  This karaoke party has its regulars, including the angelic-voiced lady who sings Leslie Gore songs and the big guy who enthusiastically barks the lyrics to songs in homage to a band we're frankly not familiar with. But this is very much a karaoke for all skill levels. (One recent night featured... More >>
• BEST OPEN MIC
  BALLS Cabaret
  Open-mic nights come and go in this town, rising and falling with the fortunes of arty coffeehouses and bars owned by aspiring poets. Some last for only a few feeble experiments, some plod along for years. None, however, matches the import of Leslie Ball's weekly cabaret at the Southern Theater,... More >>
• BEST CONCERT VENUE
  Varsity Theater
  To be honest, the Varsity could've won a number of categories, including Best Place to Have a Wedding, Best Bar-Mitzvah Venue, maybe even Best Place to Watch a Movie That's Not an Actual Movie Theater (which, of course, it was in its original incarnation). But the multipurpose venue is ideal for... More >>
• BEST ROCK CLUB
  First Avenue
  There's a huge gulf between the earthly bounds of the small-capacity bar/nightclub and the teeming edifice of the 18,000-seat sports arena—not just spatially, but in the type of bands that take the stage. Fortunately, it's a gap that First Avenue has been filling admirably for decades. The... More >>
• BEST ALL-AGES VENUE
  The Garage
  For the under-18 set, seeing loud music in a club usually means waiting for all-ages shows at the Triple Rock, Station 4, the 7th St. Entry, or the Red Sea. Teen-friendly spots such as the Depot, the Toybox, the Fallout, Rudie's Coffeehouse, Club 3 Degrees, or the reopened Eclipse Records offer... More >>
• BEST DANCE CLUB
  Foundation
  After thriving momentarily in the '90s as the outsider-hipster haven Rogue, the stonewalled basement of downtown Minneapolis's Lumber Exchange Building reopened as Level in 2005, only to capsize a year later. The tumultuous history of the place is emblematic of the whole shaky structure that is... More >>
• BEST CLUB DJ
  E-Tones
  In a Minneapolis club district yearning to be West Hollywood or South Beach, Jetset is pure Williamsburg: a coolly lit hideout of candles and white brick that's meant to be accidentally discovered, then shared among friends. (You can find the place a few doors down from Jeune Lune, at 115 North... More >>
• BEST BLUES BAR
  Famous Dave's
  It may be tucked into the corner of an urban emporium, where the devil is far more likely to wear Prada than strike deals at the crossroads. But Famous Dave's Calhoun Square club is the premier spot for the blues in a pair of burgs that laps up the stuff. With the aroma of barbecue sauce wafting... More >>
• BEST BLUES BAND
  The Butanes
  Curt Obeda and the Butanes have operated at such a high standard for so long—going on a quarter-century—that it might be about time to name the best blues band category in their honor and have them retire from the competition. Not that retirement of any kind should be uttered in the... More >>
• BEST JAZZ CLUB
  Dakota Jazz Club and Restaurant
  No less than jazz pooh-bah Wynton Marsalis recently opined that the Dakota ranks among the top 10 spots in America to hear jazz. He's right. But don't take his word for it. Check out the monthly parade of renowned artists who grace the Dakota's stage and invariably go away singing the club's... More >>
• BEST JAZZ ARTIST
  Frank Morgan
  Instantly enamored with bebop pioneer Charlie Parker upon hearing him at age seven, Frank Morgan took up alto sax. By his early 20s, he'd launched a promising career. But Morgan also followed Bird's descent into heroin addiction and as a result spent the majority of the next 30 years in prison.... More >>
• BEST VOCALIST (FEMALE)
  Prudence Johnson
  Soulful and skillful in a range of genres, Johnson is a double-decade veteran of the Twin Cities music scene. Over the years, she's released albums of jazz, up-tempo folk (through Red House Records), and American songwriting staples. With an effortlessly lilting voice that glides over melodies... More >>
• BEST VOCALIST (MALE)
  Mike Gunther
  With a wail of reprobation and a warning howl, stripped-down blues barnstormer Mike Gunther sings tales of souls gone astray and the mortal consequences they face. There's high drama in his delivery: On last year's Burn It Down for the Nails, Gunther inflected his voice with rollicking... More >>
• BEST ACOUSTIC PERFORMER
  Piper's Crow
  Although all four members of this phenomenal Celt band have myriad projects going at any particular time, it is in Piper's Crow that they appear to shine most brightly. The group's ensemble play on their eponymous album (issued in early 2006) is often breathtaking, an exotic assortment of... More >>
• BEST SONGWRITER
  Jeremy Messersmith
  After a few years spent quietly distributing CD-Rs of his basement-bred folk-pop, Bible college bad boy Jeremy Messersmith made his official debut last year with The Alcatraz Kid. With their rubber-soul melodies and corduroy melancholy, Messersmith's songs purr like Elliott Smith beset with... More >>
• BEST R&B ARTIST
  J. Isaac
  Preacher's son Jason Isaac Moore still keeps the faith: As with most smooth-talking R&B seducers, coaxing a "Yes" out of women is a high priority. But the questions J. Isaac asks in his warm, mellow alto reflect religious righteousness as much as romance. For all the sexy grooves on his 2006... More >>
• BEST HIP-HOP ARTIST
  Brother Ali
  There's a move that Brother Ali makes with his neck while rapping that isn't quite a full head-nod. It's a side-to-side swivel, a physical groove so slight, you'd miss it if you didn't feel it in your own neck as you listen to Brother Ali's music. This is the visual counterpart to a flow that... More >>
• BEST LIVE ARTIST
  Dance Band
  Good funk bands don't need to remind their audiences to dance. Then again, most don't have to deal with stiff Twin Cities crowds either, so we'll cut Dance Band some slack for their dumb name and constant imploring. "We are Dance Band, and that's what you're gonna do!" commands the group's... More >>
• BEST ROCK BAND
  Little Man
  It's not quite fair to say that Little Man's Soulful Automatic is the album that local thrift-store pop bands have been trying to make for years. Better to say it's what some fans of Matt Wilson, Mark Mallman, and the Owls have been waiting for: a fully realized studio work that feels at home in... More >>
• BEST OLD BAND
  Dan Wilson
  Dan Wilson found himself staring into the business end of the Recording Academy's highest honor last February, when the august body declared 2006's best song to be none other than the Wilson-penned Dixie Chicks snubber "Not Ready to Make Nice." But even if the glitz of the red carpet had never... More >>
• BEST NEW BAND
  Mouthful of Bees
  The power of great music often rests not with things as obvious as musical skill or crisp recordings, but rather with an ability to imply grandeur through sleight of hand. If Mouthful of Bees' debut album, The End, had been recorded a little better, if Katelyn Farstad's drumming were a little... More >>
• BEST BAND TO BREAK UP IN THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  The Soviettes
  Like Dillinger Four before them, the Soviettes made the job of producing raw yet loveable punk rock look too easy. They also made it look insanely fun, which is why it came as such a surprise to hear that they broke up during the summer of '06. After forming in 2001, the quartet—guitarists... More >>
• BEST CONCERT OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS (LOCAL)
  The Plastic Constellations and Tapes 'n Tapes at First Avenue
  Some concerts are meant to be happenings, be they CD-release shows, multimedia blowouts, or even treasure hunts. Others become happenings. Call it kismet, call it savvy tour planning, but when Tapes 'n Tapes scheduled this co-headlining bill with the Plastic Constellations for July 22 last... More >>
• BEST CONCERT OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS (TOURING)
  Rakim
  Here is what happens during a bad hip-hop show: An unknown local act spends half an hour trying to prove itself, some loosely affiliated friends of the headliner wander around the stage for a while spitting the kind of stuff you'd skip over if it showed up on a mixtape, the nostalgia-fostering... More >>
• BEST ALBUM OF THE PAST 12 MONTHS
  Chooglin', Chooglin'
  The group's handle, taken from a Creedence Clearwater Revival song title meaning "to ball and have a good time," appeared on the album's cover in that goofy font made famous by the band Chicago. In other words, Chooglin' announced no need to be taken seriously, and a growing audience obliged... More >>
• BEST BAND NAME
  Huge Rat Attacks
    More >>
• BEST LOCAL RECORD LABEL
  Afternoon Records
  Ian Anderson, the overachieving Afternoon Records founder, Aneuretical guitarist, and One for the Team singer whose achievements will one day warrant him a newspaper write-up that doesn't include a reference to the Jethro Tull singer (but not today), began his little record label as something of... More >>
• BEST LOCAL MUSIC COMPILATION
  Duluth Does Dylan Revisited
  Good local music compilations always say something about the scene. Last year's The Best of Smoke-Free Saturday Nights Volume 3 said there were a bunch of good, unreleased female-fronted punk bands around here. DUNation.com—Volume Won said local rappers, even well-known ones, had started... More >>
• BEST LINGERIE
  Frederick's of Hollywood
  The idea of lingerie is to make you look more naked—or feel more naked—than if you were merely wearing nothing. It's an effect that can be achieved on the cheap (as with stripper footwear from the Love Doctor) or at worthwhile expense (as with hand-woven panties from Unmentionables... More >>
• BEST STRIP CLUB
  The Seville Club
  The Fauve-inspired poster of Louise Brooks on the back wall should be your first indication that the Seville isn't your average Minneapolis skin shack. Then there's the exposed brick, the elegant design scheme, and the shockingly non-surly staff. All the best elements of stripclubbery... More >>
• BEST ADULT VIDEO STORE
  Nicollet Village Video
  Mr. Show defended smut with the war cry "In your darkest, loneliest hours, who is there for you? Pornography!" We say if you don't like porn then you don't like sex. For in the great pantheon of recorded rutting, there is something for everyone. Maybe you like award-winning and edgy art films.... More >>
• BEST STORE FOR SEX TOYS
  Smitten Kitten
  Upon first glance, it's not readily apparent what type of store the Smitten Kitten is. The name suggests something girly and cute, and the vintage furniture looks like the setup for a local gift shop. But then you see the dildos—dozens of them, sitting on a shelf, tilting slightly to the... More >>