Venue

Minneapolis Convention Center

1301 2nd Ave. S

Minneapolis, MN

612.335.6000

http://www.minneapolisconventioncenter.com/

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Ask The Wedding Guys®

Date/Time: Wed., September 17, Wed., October 22

Ask The Wedding Guys® Get The Wedding Guys® expert advice on your wedding dilemmas!

Question:
My Brother is getting married next year and I have recently learned through my mother that they are not having children at the wedding. My son will be almost two by then, and we had hoped he would have been invited.

My initial reaction was not to attend their wedding, but having calmed down I have decided to go. It will be a 2 hour drive and we will most likely be leaving early to get back to our son. The dilemma I have is that I have been asked to be the Best Man, but now partially out of protest at them excluding their nephew, and partly because I will be leaving early I am thinking about turning down the offer.

Am I over reacting? I am disappointed that they only passed on that no children information through my mother, and also that his fiancee is excluding immediate family from what is going to be a small Family & Friends wedding. I understand that it is her wedding, but it's also my brother's wedding so it should be a joint decision. I think he is just trying to make her happy so he is letting her make this decision. She is also 'joining' our extended family, so is going to have to get used to the fact that our son is a very important part of that.

Answer: Are you over-reacting? Are you making this out to be more than what it is? Are you adding drama where there need not be any? Did you have the wedding you wanted to have? I think you can tell the answer is Yes! It is their choice and even if he is just siding with your soon to be sister-in-law is really none of your business.

You see as you become a parent and have a child, it doesn't mean that everyone has to allow your child to participate in their events. Some people when they get married are focused on their reception and ceremony being an adult atmosphere. It's like this, as harsh as it may seem. Just because you have children does not mean that everyone else has to be accommodating to your wishes.

Don't be upset and start lashing out saying you are not going to be a Best Man. That's childish and a knee jerk reaction. Why did they tell your parents and not you... probably because they thought you would react just the way you are reacting.

Be gracious, enjoy the day and celebrate. What goes around comes around and well, one day you will want them to come to hear your son recite a poem at a school program. If they have a child that is almost two would you like them to bring the child to act up during the reciting of the poem? Probably not! Don't make things bigger than they are. Respect their right to have a wedding they would like, because we assume you did.

The Wedding Guys!

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