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Hymie's Vintage Records, Corner Coffee were both broken into over the weekend

Vandals at Hymie's didn't find much in the way of money; Corner Coffee wasn't so lucky.

Vandals at Hymie's didn't find much in the way of money; Corner Coffee wasn't so lucky. Facebook: Hymie's Vintage Records/Corner Coffee

"Off to Costco for some security cameras."

That's how Hymie's Vintage Records owners signed off on a Monday Facebook post updating followers on a break-in discovered Sunday morning

Wondering what rarities and auction-able vinyl these criminal masterminds of East Lake Street made off with? Perhaps a pricey test press or that new Replacements box set? At least a small stack of stuff from the 50-cent bin with which to use like throwing stars, Shaun of the Dead-style, in the event of a zombie apocalypse?

Haha, no.

"These were not smart people. NO inventory was damaged or taken," Hymie's Facebook post reads.

According to owners, the only thing missing from the store was exactly $25 in one-dollar bills. By their estimate, vandals got mad when they didn't find a safe stuffed with cash, and responded by trashing the space: All the tables and tables chairs were upturned, trash had been thrown around, and "they squirted record cleaning fluid over the shop turntables before exiting the back door."

"Saying that I'm glad," their post reads. "I can replace cash but I cannot replace a $50 bootleg or other rarity."

Speaking of replacing cash: Unfortunately for Corner Coffee's Uptown location, their thieves did know where the money was hiding. "They knew what they were coming for. Broke into the back door and stole our safe box," CC's Monday morning post reads.

That means a week's worth of barista tips have evaporated into thin air. They're asking folks who are able to swing by and show a little support. 

Corner Coffee was open again Monday, and at Hymie's, aside from damage to the locks, windows, and register, the shop is "back to normal."