Wisconsin has stolen our butter princess sculpting skills and corrupted them in the name of country music.
At the Milwaukee stop of Carrie Underwood's "Cry Pretty Tour 360" this past weekend, the multi-platinum pop-country artist was presented with a particularly odd, edible version of herself.
Of course, when one rises to fame thanks to American Idol, continuing on to conquer the world one record at a time, it’s expected that such a massive fanbase would regularly craft weird stuff as gifts. Homespun likenesses in general become de rigueur.
But coming face-to-face with yourself, rendered in 40 pounds of Wisconsin cheddar? That's a doozy.
The anonymous sculptor of Cheese-Carrie went so far as to include the 36-year-old singer’s dripping mascara and eyeliner from her “Cry Pretty” music video, which really popped against its Oompa-Loompa orange cheese base. When gauging the degree of Underwood’s horror, it’s important to note that she’s also (mostly) vegan.
This begs the following questions:
What happened to that cheese bust of Carrie Underwood? We’re dying to know who ended up eating it, and how. Did they start daintily? Or was there a really big knife just hanging out, ripe for the hacking?
Was all 40 pounds of her consumed? If not, how much of Cheese-Carrie currently resides in a dumpster somewhere in Milwaukee? And who was tasked with the actual dumping? Surely folks at the Fiserv Forum, whom Underwood broadly credited with the gift per her Instagram post, have answers.
On a related note, Minnesotans will be given a chance to even the score this October, when (omnivore) Miranda Lambert comes to the Xcel. We have but one well-known, readily snackable specialty here in Minnesota, and we'd appreciate if you didn't let us down in this creepy craft-off.
If e'er the world could use a Miranda SPAMbert, that time has come.