Hey Sun Country, why don't you call your plane Big Dick Lake? (And 94 other options)

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Right plane, wrong lake. Twitter (@suncountryair)

A corporate PR initiative took flight Tuesday when Sun Country Airlines revealed plans to rename its fleet after Minnesota lakes, of which our state famously has many.

The Eagan-based company's high-flying marketing move captured the perfunctory imaginations of every news outlet in town; United Airlines must have cried tears of envy. 

“Sun Country Airlines is Minnesota’s hometown airline and in Minnesota, our lakes are part of our DNA. We want to honor the bodies of water synonymous with the Minnesota lifestyle, and are thrilled to unveil the Hometown Lakes Project,” Sun Country President/CEO Zarir Erani said in a press release.  

One problem, Erani: You picked the wrong lakes!

Here are the watery snoozers Sun Country will emblazon upon its 22 airplanes, starting with Lake Bemidji (pictured above). 

Lake Como, Lake Bemidji, Lake Geneva, Lake George, Lake Harriet, Lake Hiawatha, Lake Irving, Lake Hubert, Lake Independence, Lake Jefferson, Lake Minnetonka, Lake Mille Lacs, Lake Nokomis, Lake Minnewashta, Lake of the Clouds, Lake of the Isles, Lake Pepin, Lake of the Woods, Lake Phalen, Lake Superior, Lake Ripley, Lake Washington, Lake Virginia, Lake Vermilion, Lake Winona.

Wow. Hardly a wacky one in the bunch.

And that's a serious missed opportunity, considering the deep pool of WTF lake names Minnesota boasts. The Water Body Research Desk at City Pages dove into the Department of Natural Resources database to bring Sun Country 94 alternative options, all of which you'll find below.

The names range from goofy (Humpty Dumpty Lake) to erotic (Big Spunk Lake) to confusing (My Lake) to alarming (Stalker Lake). Some are shockingly racist! (Please don't name anything after Blackface Lake, it's simply included to demonstrate the sometimes unfortunate weirdness of Minnesota lake names ... oh, there's also a Weird Lake.) 

Marketers may not deem these oddballs brandable, but know this much: Inexplicably, they're very real. 

9 A.M. Lake
Artichoke Lake
Ball Club Lake
Ball Club (Little)
Big Ole Lake
Big Rainbarrel Lake
Big Spunk Lake
Big Spunk Lake (Lower)
Big Spunk Lake (Middle)
Big Too Much Lake
Beer Lake
Blackface Lake
Blackface Lake (Little)
Blind Pete Lake
Buttonbox Lake
Captain Luke Lake
Chub Lake
Chub Lake (East)
Chub Lake (West)
Crippled Deer Lake
Dead Coon Lake
Dead Horse Lake
Dick Lake (Big)
Dick Lake (Little)
Ding Pot Lake
Dirky Mike Lake
Dirky Nose Lake
Dislocation Lake
Dummer Lake
Ecstasy Lake
Extortion Lake
Famine Lake
Firemen's Clayhole Lake
Fungus Lake
Funk Lake
Good Lake
Googun Lake
Height of Land Lake
Highlife Lake
Hooter Lake
Humpty Dumpty Lake
Hungry Jack Lake
Ice Cracking Lake
Jack the Horse Lake
Lake of the Clouds Lake
LeRoy Sand Pit Lake
Little Butterball Lake
Little Pughole Lake
Lobster Lake
Mantrap (Big)
Mantrap (Little)
Mud Hole Lake
My Lake
Holy Water Lake
Hug Lake
Octopus Lake
Ore-be-gone Lake
Organ Lake
Pea Soup Lake
Pompous Lake
Poor Farm Lake
Potato Lake
Poverty Lake
Rat House Lake
Rat Root Lake
Redskin Lake
Scooty Lake
Sea Lake
Sedative Lake
Someman Lake
Spunk Lake (Big)
Spunk Lake (Middle)
Spunk Lake (Lower)
Skindance Lake
Stalker Lake
Starvation Lake
Stingy Lake
Stinking Lake
Stray Horse Lake
Sucker Lake (Big)
Sucker Lake (Little)
Sugar Bush (Big)
Sugar Bush (Little)
Surprise Lake
Tea Cracker Lake
Typo Lake
Unnamed PCA Site #382 Lake
Violation Lake
Weeny Lake
Weird Lake
Wench Lake
Wooden Leg Lake
Wood Pile Lake
Woodcock Lake
Zimmy Lake 

H/T to the blog Fun Minnesota Lakes for some assists with this list. 


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