The bad thing about Minnesota weather is -- and how often do we have to quote Prince Rogers Nelson before people take it to heart? -- sometimes it snows in April.
Like a lot of you, Frankie's been eyeing the snow storm headed our way this week and speculating what it means for us. Unlike a lot of you, he uploaded a YouTube clip to put his forecast money where his mouth is.
In short: Frankie says it's gonna be big and bad. (Unless you actually look forward to shoveling or snowblowing after the Final Four, in which case, please start sliding into people's DMs and asking if they're "familiar with masochism.") Our misbegotten land will receive at least a foot of snow, and perhaps up to two feet, per Frankie's enthusiastic report.
"Massive," Frankie characterizes the front coming thisaway.
"It's going to bring a lot of snow," says Frankie, who notes this white, watery arrival will be "blowing and drifting" -- words we'd also use to name emotions of someone who was looking forward to sitting on a patio this weekend.
Frankie warns us the weather will "especially" hit Minneapolis and St. Paul, the state's economic and politcal capitals, respectively. Also: look for "very strong winds," and "treacherous driving conditions" with low visibility, in case you didn't get your fill of yours yet this winter. (You did.)
What fun it is to ride and sing a sighing song tonight.
As usual, Frankie hammers his points to make you believe he's being serious. "Be prepared," he says, listing off the things you'll need -- boots, jackets, pizza, Chinese food, Coke, and Pepsi -- and instructing you to "do it right now!"
And we're not here to argue with Frankie MacDonald. We're here to thank him. Aside from our short-lived burst of sun --which you should spend all day drinking in as if it was the closest star in your solar system and the sole reason you or any other animal ever had a chance at living on this planet -- Frankie's the only nice thing we've got.
Least we could do is enjoy his work... and prepare for our own, of digging our cities out once more and cursing everything that isn't a neighbor or random stranger headed your way with a shovel, snowblower, sarcastic joke, or Chinese food pre-purchased on the advice of a super-likeable young weatherman.