Report: Minnesota is great, but Iowa is better

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Getty Images/iStockphoto

Minnesota's top export -- ahead of even medical devices, iron ore pellets, and sugar beets -- is the glowing pride we manufacture from finishing No. 1 on oh-so-many state rankings.

So it stings to come in No. 2, as we did on U.S. News & World Report's "Best States Rankings," and lord it burns to finish behind ... Iowa?! You gotta be fucking kidding me! 

But, no, the report published Tuesday is not fucking kidding us. Via sober analysis, U.S. News & World Report weighed 77 different metrics to determine state-by-state rankings in the following categories: Health Care (Minnesota finished 7th), Education (13th), Economy (20th), Opportunity (3rd), Infrastructure (6th), Crime & Corrections (11th), Fiscal Stability (24th), and Quality of Life (2nd).

Wisconsin, our dreaded rivals to the East, came in 11th, so at least there's that.

Minnesota ranked 3rd overall in 2017, and apparently that meager climb is enough to satisfy Gov. Mark Dayton. Here's Dayton's statement, which was issued almost instantly this morning: 

"This study reaffirms what Minnesotans have always known: our state is one of the very best places in the country to live, work, and raise a family," he says. "However, we have more work to do build an even better Minnesota. I look forward to working with the Legislature this session to ensure Minnesota remains a leader in education, economic opportunity, health care, reliable infrastructure, and a high quality of life for all who call our state home."

Sounds achievable! Iowa still has to overcome being Iowa, after all.  

Rounding out the top 10 states are Utah, North Dakota, New Hampshire, Washington, Nebraska, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Colorado. The bottom 10 includes Kentucky, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Alaska, Arkansas, Alabama, West Virginia, New Mexico, Mississippi, and, coming in dead last, Louisiana.